So this past week has been, to say the least, a difficult one. On Wednesday March 4th 2015, I woke up feeling, not myself. I got up at 6:00 am and started getting ready, had my cup of coffee like usual. When I got to the bus stop at around 7:35 am I had a really unsettling feeling. When I got to the University at around 8:20 am, I felt uncomfortable, paranoid, anxious, sad, depressed, any negative feeling you could think of feeling. My class began at 8:30 am that morning and went until 9:50... after class, on my way to a study room (to complete some homework, to catch up on readings), I met a couple friends who were waiting for a lab, so they came with me to a study room. When I sat down, my friend was messaging me and she informed me that she needed to tell me something but was scared to cry. I immediatly called her thinking something was really wrong.
So turns out that one of our close friends' brother commited suicide that morning at approximately 8:30 am that morning... that explained why I felt so depressed that morning.
After finding out, I was so surprised, that I did not even really cry, it's almost like I did not know what to feel. Meanwhile, a close friend of mine, on campus, texted me and we had a little bit of a cry in the bathroom for about 45 minutes. This was definitely a devastating day and I do not wish this kind of pain to anyone..
After crying for a while, I decided it was time to go home. I went back to my place, packed my stuff and within 10 minutes of being home, I was leaving for my hometown. I needed to be with my family and friends. I stayed in my hometown for 2 nights, came back to the city for the Friday, and went back to my hometown until Tuesday (today).
I just want to point out that suicide should not be the answer to anything. If ever you are feeling alone or like nobody cares, just know that you are not alone, there is always someone there for you, not only in times of trouble, but in good times. The one person, whom you can always count on is God. We have to remember that God died for us, he allowed us to live, he is the one who permitted us to have the life we have now, and he is there for us if ever you need him.
During my time of sadness, a friend of mine told me to try to pray, as I was not sleeping or eating properly. That night, before going to sleep, I decided to say a little prayer, and sure enough, I slept like a baby. Now, some people might say that that was simple coincidence, but I believe that it was God's way of telling me he was there for me. I woke up feeling a lot better than I had been for two days, and ate a bit better.
I am not saying the sadness, the pain is gone, and the pain will probably stay with the family, the friends and anyone's life whom this young man had touched. He was truly a good guy, and too young to die, especially by taking his own life.
I offer my deepest sympathies to anyone affected by this sorrowful time.
Lots of Love